Bout of Context

I'm Chris. I work in technology, can juggle two oranges with one hand but not three with two and have trouble finding shoes. Hereunder, whatever I feel like.
Email me via BoutofContext@gmail.com
May 11
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caitlinoppermann:

antoinetta:

tightgrip:

lonelysandwich:

Noony and Nunni
This recurring sketch was one of my favorites of the last 10 years of SNL. 
Pictured, Jason Sudeikis as college boyfriend ‘Geoff’ sitting on The Hair Chair by Mobus™, holding the latest in mobile toiletry, The Carry Pot by Human Function™.

A personal favorite too.


 One of the best episodes/skits of SNL history. 

A special treat for those of you who know my surname. A high school buddy’s been an SNL staff writer for years - and has yet to compensate me for inspiring this skit!

caitlinoppermann:

antoinetta:

tightgrip:

lonelysandwich:

Noony and Nunni

This recurring sketch was one of my favorites of the last 10 years of SNL.

Pictured, Jason Sudeikis as college boyfriend ‘Geoff’ sitting on The Hair Chair by Mobus™, holding the latest in mobile toiletry, The Carry Pot by Human Function™.

A personal favorite too.

 One of the best episodes/skits of SNL history.

A special treat for those of you who know my surname. A high school buddy’s been an SNL staff writer for years - and has yet to compensate me for inspiring this skit!

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May 10
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I think men are obsolete to some extent. I was going to do a film called ‘Used Guys’ about a future where women run the world because they finally figured out that men are poisoned with testosterone and shouldn’t be allowed near anything sharp or explosive.
Jay Roach, in NYT Magazine’s Questions page.
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May 09
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I don’t feel safe with just a knife or pepper spray…Once we get the law passed, I’m going to get my permit and a small Glock that will fit in my purse.
— Laura Elizabeth Morales, U of Texas at San Antonio student, member of Students for Concealed Carry on Campus.
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May 08
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The flaw inherent in seeking consistency or systematization is that you place a higher value on those qualities than on the inherent properties of whatever you’re systematizing.
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May 07
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$9+ Packs of Cigs In NYC Just In Time for Summer

Today’s WSJ opinion section discusses the relationship between cigarette taxes and organized crime (other, more detailed research here by the same author). Given that everyone I know here knows someone who’s seriously considered renting a truck to bootleg cigs from the South, that crime connection isn’t as surprising as the recently increased tax-burden:

On April 23,…Gov. David Paterson signed into law a $1.25 per-pack tax hike on top of the state’s $1.50 per-pack tax. That’s in addition to New York City’s own $1.50 per-pack tax. Come July 1, New York City’s smokers will be paying on average $9 a pack for legal cigarettes.

As a non-smoker, this makes me uncomfortable.

  • The health of the smoker is theirs to gamble with.
  • My health as an unwilling inhaler of 2nd hand smoke is better protected banning smoking in confined spaces (already done in NYC).
  • Smoking-related health care costs being passed on to me may be a valid concern - but I’m not certain this tax remedies that; or is the most efficient remedy. It’s entangled in the larger problem of American health care reform.
  • The tax leverages political unpopularity of smoking to pile on ‘sin’ taxes, making it more opportunistic than policy-minded.

Other sins we could tax to cover short-falls include: gambling, serrated knives, A&F thongs for tots, sheepskin condoms and Windows Vista.

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A 2006 University of Minnesota poll found that atheists are the most distrusted group in America, ranking below gays, Muslims and recent immigrants. More Americans (48%) would be unwilling to vote for an otherwise qualified atheist than any other group.
— David A. Niose, “Humanists Come Out Against Bias”, MetroNY
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May 06
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Viagra Could Cure Jet-Lag, Leave You Jumbo

“A study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (via the New York Times): sildenafil, otherwise known as Viagra, is a bona fide cure for jet lag. At least in hamsters, that is…The researchers found that Viagra has the ability to alter hamsters’ internal clocks (their ‘circadian rythms’).” - the Economist.

Unfortunately for late-night comedians, this alternative use is nowhere near approval for humans. But if you’re too embarrassed to get the pills for actual erectile dysfunction, perhaps this is a face-saving way to procure a scrip. “Doc, the jet lag’s ruining my marriage!”

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There are many points of view that do not deserve a ‘fair hearing.’
Nora, dropping science.

I’m a big believer both in the freedom of speech and the disentitlement to unsupportable opinions.
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May 05
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Fashionable Fat Guys Are Waddling Into Mainstream Looks

Having come a long way from the days of providing floral-print ponchos and dress capes to men who could single-handedly fill clown cars [see picture], the Big & Tall fashion industry now struggles to narrow it’s target market and sartorial bearing. It’s an issue near and dear to my heart. As a robust man of six and a half feet who, weighing almost two PeterWKnoxs at my peak - I’ve never quite ballooned into the traditional minimum B&T waist-band: a stretchtastic 46”. Yet I have muffin-topped a few 36’s in my day. That occasionally left me in the no-man’s land between department store and B&T.

I am, however, tall enough to indulge in extra-long shirts at various B&Ts and became familiar with the odd dynamic of marketing button-up tents: the catalogues are stuffed with images of modern Adonis in long, athletic tapered Nautica board shorts. The average guy in the store, on the other hand, is unwittingly making a corset from the 4XL vest of a George Foreman brand, Carolina blue suit. Either that, or he’s triumphantly flexing in a vaguely misogynistic Big Dogs t-shirt [see below].Not a chance.

The trend is on, led by Casual Male XL, to change the waist of B&T. For starters, Casual Male no longer uses the phrase “Big & Tall”, having learned men translate it “fat guys in stretch pants.” They’re focusing on more athletic-looking bruisers in the 40-48” range, like appropriately surnamed Pats’ offensive tackle Matt Light. Finally, they’ve continued to improve the look of their product, especially in smaller sizes. The hope is attention to relatively more fit, but still authentically large, men will grow the market. My hope is that said market growth will lead to more varied, stylish options in case I experience another post-pubescent burst of … non-market growth. WSJ analysis of this here.

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Making Light of Layoffs

I’ve mentioned previously that my employer’s among those laying off thousands because our finance nerds were caught as flat-footed as most others during the mortgage crisis. We back-office peons were tipped off that the next few thousand sackings come tomorrow and Wednesday. Naturally, the atmosphere’s grim and everyone is anxious. The office is rife with rumor, spreading quickly among workers with no incentive to produce anything today. I’ve taken advantage by initiating this corporate chat with several colleagues, clinching with a funny link found via Tumblr:

Me: So, get a load of this
Me: Apparently someone in HR goofed and the post-layoff org chart for our division is already making the rounds.
Colleague: reaaallllllyyyy!?
Me: Yeah, check it out!

So far everyone has gotten a laugh out of it - mission accomplished.

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May 02
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What should really trouble us about sex work? That it is sex that these women do, with many customers, should not in and of itself trouble us, from the point of view of legality, even if we personally don’t share the woman’s values. Nonetheless, it is this one fact that still-Puritan America finds utterly intolerable.

What should trouble us are things like this: The working conditions for most women in sex work are extremely unhealthy. They are exploited by pimps, and they enjoy little control over which clients they will accept. Police harass them and extort sexual favors from them. Some of these bad features (unhealthiness, little control) sex work shares with other job options for low-income women, such as factory work of many kinds. Other bad features (police extortion) are the natural result of illegality itself.

In general we should be worried about poverty and lack of education.
— Martha Nussbaum, “Trading on America’s puritanical streak.” (via debauchette)

I’m glad to see, should the continuing layoffs in my industry ensnare me, the erudite Ms. Nussbaum supports my fallback profession. Beats studying for the CFA.
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May 01
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US Census Conducted With iPhones?

The Census Follies discusses the Census Bureau’s high-profile, $3 billion dollar failure developing a $600 hand-held device to modernize census taking. The ultimate reason, accompanied by no heads rolling, was given as something like ‘failure to convey requirements to the vendor,’ Harris Corp. I’ll say!

Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK) who loves busting pork second only to busting balls, is quoted saying:

So we’re still going to pay $600, four times what the American [tax]payer should be paying, for something that can be done on a $150 BlackBerry…A $400 iPhone can do twice as much as the $600 handheld. You could buy iPhones and do all of this.

Leaving aside the iPhone’s unavailability at the time (2006) - this begs the question - why not? I don’t mean that sarcastically. I honestly want to know why the decision was made to start from scratch on a handset with capabilities that could probably be stuffed into a Treo or customized UPS hand-held computer.

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